/yen/

SnoopyI would like to be with someone who sees my soul through the windows of ones’ eyes… one who sees that craziness, the ugliness, the weirdness, that evil in me, that silent killer in me… The whole of darkness in me.

But, I would love to be in someone else’s warm embrace who sees this gentleness in me, the meekness, the sweetness, the innocence, that light spirit in me, that beautiful soul in me, that compassion and love within me… The whole of Art in me. 

Cravings

 

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I offered you a golden cup of coffee.

Yet you delight yourself with the beauty of the cup and not the divine taste of the coffee.

This I say to you…

Once you break the cup, you will lose that cup forever.

But I can still brew the same coffee and it will always taste like Eternity.

I will have you enjoy your golden cup of coffee;
Until one day, you will realize that it is the coffee you needed the most, and not the cup. 

I still have more to give you, when you need refill.

This time I will serve it, with a simple, unadorned cup. 
Indulge yourself for now.

 

(Copyright.Cravings.2017.All Rights Reserved)

Storm

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“Distorted”  Oil on Canvas

There is this angst inside of me.
I want to keep in silence,
but my blood is raging in fire;
my thought is screaming in wrath;
my heart throbbing with intense vexation.

If I speak, no one spares time to listen.
I am longing for someone to talk to.
I am longing for somebody whose genuine heart
cares to listen to my thoughts, from my heart and soul.

I tried speaking, yet no one understands my language.
In my spoken and unspoken words, I dare to express.
Yet neither one hears nor feels the vibration of the roaring, of my silent voice.

I can only question… and hoping somehow, somewhere,
some kind of unknown being, maybe be able to indulge me with the
satisfaction in response to my query.

How do you feel if you’re being ignored?

How does it feel if you are burning candles at both ends, only to
find out, no one even cares?

How would you feel if you try the best all you can to perfect your
craft, and you’re not being appreciated?

How would you feel when you commit yourself to render service, yet
you hear and see nothing but criticism, skepticism and doubt?

How do you feel when you think you don’t have the freedom to
create something on your own?

How do you feel when you have a pure intention of loving what you do, and your only reward is the joy and love of what you do, yet someone from out of nowhere, foresee it as rivalry, competition and maybe even worse, a threat?

How would you feel when someone you respected and trust tells you,”You can’t do it?”

If and only if, you fell how I feel…
Look straight into my eyes and tell me, “It sucks!”

With all these anguish, affliction,
distress… these tribulations boiling inside me..
I realized that nothing in life is worth caring for,
but my own life,
my own destiny,
my own journey.

Only in Nature, can I fully express myself. It is my only refuge…
the non-physical and intangible… it understands and listens to me in
silence.

It is better for me to reveal my inner grief to the trees, for I know, it
engraves my emotions unto its bark, like a mist that will vanish with
the whisper of the wind. And even if the wind hears it, it will only soar unto the space and into the space it remains.

I will travel alone in the storm, and I know, I will thrive and survive.     

 

A Child’s Longing

Mother's Day
8’x11″ Mixed Media

 I wish you were here when l was in my lowest and saddest time of my life;
I wish you were here to wrap your arms around me, in my moments insecurity;

I wish you were here when I needed someone to talk to;
I wish you were here when I long for someone to stroll with, at the park or at the beach or in a shopping mall… or simply having a cup of tea;

I wish you were here to share my story with you, and tell you how am I doing in this strange country ;
I wish, and l can only wish you were here in this time of uncertainty when anger, fear and trepidation shrouds me;

“Everything will be okay.” is all l can hear from my friends.
Yet nothing compares the unconditional love you gave to me.

I wish you were here so I could speak to you in person how much this love I longed and kept inside me to utter those words,
“I Love You.”

I wish and I can only wish, to you see you before the gates of the temple opens up to welcome you; before your shadow vanish into the mist; before sunrise turns to dusk.

I wish you were here so we both could celebrate this special day.

Happy Mother’s Day to the most wonderful woman who gave me light into this world… My Mother.

(AChild’sLonging. COPYRIGHT.2017.All Rights Reserved)

Ninety Three

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Your harsh, deep voice echoed,

From your inner boldness.

Permeates unto the air;

The language of your masculinity.

Forceful. Powerful.

The sharp look of your eye

Penetrates deep into my soul.

You charge with dominance,

That assertion and supreme command

“See what happens when you get old?”  

“Don’t get old!”

Such a valid excuse; the block of your recollection.

And in my meekness, I submit.

Tea or Coffee and Melody.

A perfect remedy, it soothes your agitation.

And when you close your eyes, I hear you even louder.

Then the blink… reveals that confusion.

You gaze empty unto space.

Speechless. Startled.

You gather that roaring thunder sound from your memory.

“Where’s my car?” “Do I live here?”

Neither can you satisfy,

To quench the thirst of your own query;

Nor can I proffer the right response.   

I can only desire to be as wise as you are;

For that language you silently express,

Somehow, I am able to comprehend.

Yet never in my full understanding, I may apprehend.

Something beyond deeper; the searching from your quiet interior;

The rhythm of chapters from your past;

Nine decades and three, of your life line.

In your Wisdom, Someone…

Bared witness, that subtle perplexity inside you,

I am the only One.

(Copyright.NinetyThree.2017.All Rights Reserved)